Many of us learned that holding a cat by the scruff is a normal way to gain control during difficult situations. I believed that too.
In this episode of the Diary of a Cat Mom podcast, I share how I learned about scruffing from a friend who rescued feral cats, why I used it with my first rescue cat, and what changed when I started looking at the situation from my cat’s perspective instead of my own.
We’ll explore why kittens and adult cats are different, what feline experts say about scruffing, and the gentler approach I use today when handling my cats.
Sometimes becoming a better cat parent isn’t about learning something completely new. Sometimes it’s about seeing something familiar through your cat’s eyes.
Diary of a Cat Mom is a gentle, diary-style cat podcast about everyday life with cats—created especially for cat moms 35+ in multi‑cat homes who see their cats as family.
Quick Summary
Can you hold an adult cat by the scruff? While mother cats carry kittens by the scruff, adult cats are much heavier and many feline experts recommend using full-body support instead. Understanding how cats experience handling can help create a safer and more trusting relationship between cats and their humans.
Watch this Diary of a Cat Mom Video
If you’d like to experience this diary entry as a video, you can also watch the Can I Hold My Cat By the Scruff? What I Learned as a Cat Mom podcast episode on Vimeo.
Sometimes seeing the quiet moments adds another layer to the reflection.
Table of Contents
What You’ll Learn in This Episode
- Why many cat parents learned to use scruffing
- The difference between kittens and adult cats
- Why some feline experts discourage lifting adult cats by the scruff
- What a cat’s “freezing” response may actually mean
- How I safely pick up and support my cats today
- Why trust matters as much as getting the task done
Key Takeaways
- Adult cats are not designed to be lifted by the scruff the way kittens are.
- A cat becoming still during scruffing may not always mean they are relaxed.
- Supporting a cat’s chest and hindquarters helps them feel more secure.
- Looking at situations from our cat’s perspective can change how we care for them.
- Learning new information doesn’t mean feeling guilty about the past—it creates opportunities to grow as cat parents.
Timestamps & Chapters
00:00 Can I Hold My Cat By the Scruff?
00:38 How I Learned About Scruffing
01:21 Seeing the Situation From My Cat’s Perspective
02:03 Why Adult Cats Are Different From Kittens
02:41 What Experts Say About Scruffing
03:22 How I Pick Up My Cats Today
04:14 Trust Matters More Than Control
04:49 Learning To Be A Better Cat Mom
This Is What Helped My Cats in the Past
Every cat is different, but these approaches have helped my own cats feel safer and more comfortable during handling and stressful situations:
- Supporting their entire body when lifting them
- Moving slowly and calmly during handling
- Giving them time to adjust to carriers before vet visits
- Using treats and positive associations whenever possible
- Respecting their boundaries and body language
- Focusing on trust rather than force
Thank you for listening.
And thank you for caring about cats the way you do.
Resources for Cat Parents
Everything I use and trust for my cats is here: https://diaryofacatmom.com/cat-care-resources/
About the Diary of a Cat Mom Host
Dagmar Gatell is the creator and host of Diary of a Cat Mom, sharing real-life experiences, care insights, and emotional moments from life with cats.
Created especially for cat moms 35+ in multi‑cat homes, these long‑form stories are a soft place to land on the hard and beautiful days of life with cats.
Gentle Note
Diary of a Cat Mom is a personal storytelling and reflection cat podcast. Everything shared is based on my own life and experiences with my cats.
This podcast is created for connection, comfort, and companionship. This content is not veterinary advice and not meant to replace professional veterinary advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Every cat is unique. If you have concerns about your pet’s health or wellbeing, please contact your trusted veterinarian.
Most of all, please remember:
You’re not alone on this journey. We’re learning, loving, and growing together — one paw print at a time.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can you pick up an adult cat by the scruff?
Most feline behavior experts recommend avoiding lifting adult cats by the scruff because their bodies are much heavier than kittens and may experience discomfort or stress when handled this way.
Why do mother cats carry kittens by the scruff?
Kittens are small and lightweight, and mother cats naturally carry them during early development. Adult cats no longer have the same physical needs or body structure.
Why do some cats go limp when scruffed?
Some feline experts believe that a cat becoming still during scruffing may be a stress response rather than a sign of relaxation or comfort.
What is the safest way to pick up a cat?
Support the cat’s chest with one hand and the hindquarters with the other hand while keeping them close to your body. This provides stability and support for their spine and muscles.
What if I need to handle my cat during an emergency?
In emergencies, safety comes first. However, for routine handling and everyday care, gentler techniques that minimize stress are generally preferred.
Conclusion
This episode reminded me that caring for cats is an ongoing learning journey. What mattered most wasn’t whether I had done something wrong years ago. What mattered was being willing to learn, adapt, and see things from my cat’s perspective. Because every time we understand our cats a little better, we strengthen the trust and bond we share with them.
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Full Podcast Transcription – Can I Hold My Cat By the Scruff? What I Learned as a Cat Mom
Dagmar (00:04)
Can I hold my cat by her scruff? This is Diary of a Cat Mom. Before I had my first cat, my Russian blue Shibi I had a cat-loving friend who rescued feral cats. She would trap them, get them neutered or spayed, and if they could be socialized, help them finding a loving home.
That was really the first time I heard about holding a cat by her scruff. The idea was that if you needed control over a difficult situation, putting a cat into a carrier, moving a frightened cat, or handling a cat while wearing protective gloves, the scruff could help you safely manage the situation. So when I adopted Shibi, I did the same thing. If I needed to get her into a carrier or stop her from doing something she wasn’t supposed to do, I would gently hold her by her scrub while supporting her body with the other hand. At the time I felt like I was doing the right thing because it gave me control of the situation and helped me getting things done.
Then I came across information that made me stop and think. Not from my perspective as a cat mom, but from the cat’s perspective. Because what I learned is that kittens and adult cats are totally different. Mother cats, yeah, they carry the little tiny kittens by the scrap because the kitten’s bodies are lightweight and built for that stage of life. But the adult cats however they’re much heavier and their bodies are no longer designed to be lifted that way.
Many vets and feline behavior experts they recommend not lifting or carrying adult cats by the scruff because it can be uncomfortable, stressful and potentially place strain on their neck and spine. Something else surprised me. Sometimes when a cat is scruffed, they become very still and limp.
For years many people thought this is how they can calm down a cat or how a cat would cooperate. But now according to feline behavior experts, that stillness may actually be a stress response rather than relaxation. And that made me pause because as cat parents we often look at behaviour from our side of the situation. Because the cat stopped struggling the task became much easier, the carrier doors closed, the medicine got given, the job got done. But what was the cat experiencing during that moment? That question really changed how I think about handling my cats now.
Today when I need to pick up one of my cats, I focus on supporting their whole body. I place one hand underneath the chest and behind the legs and my other hand supports the hint and the back legs. So in this way I can lift them smoothly. and keep them close to my body so that they feel secure and supported. So and now I want to be honest. If I absolutely had to interfere in any emergency situation where cat safety was at risk, my first priority would be still protecting my cats, whatever it takes.
But like for the everyday handling cat carriers or routine care, I try to use methods that create the least amount of stress possible to my cats. And the older I get as a cat mom, the more I realize that getting something done is only one part of the equation. How my cats experiencing that moment matters the most.
And one of the beautiful things about sharing our lives with cats is that we always learn. Sometimes we learn something new about nutrition, another time about health. And sometimes we learn that something we thought was helping may not feel the same way from our cat’s perspective. So for me this wasn’t about feeling guilty for something I did years ago, but it was simply another opportunity to become a better cat mom.
‘Cause at the end of the day I deeply love my cats and I always want to do what’s best for my cats to create trust and safety and understanding for both of us.
Thank you for being part of my Diary of a Cat Mom. Don’t miss the next entry. There’s always another little moment, another lesson, another story waiting to be shared. I will talk to you in the next entry.
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